It took me a good decade to truly come to terms with my illness and state of dis-ease. No matter what I attempted to accomplish in life, I refused to behave as though I were any different from anybody else while undergoing persistent chronic fatigue and battling neuropathy and dizziness. Because of my stubbornness and self-condemnation issues (I learned to be very hard on myself and reasoned that I was self-disciplined), I had constructed a bit of an uphill battle. Maybe part of me became addicted to the pain and struggling in order to suffer from anything other than the persistent reminder of my illness, but a “How-To…” article will certainly be a biased concoction based off my own personal and individual experience.
I was young and wild and free: the familiar story. I knew in the back of my head—deep down behind the scenes of everything going on, that I felt that if I were going to be respectful and decent towards the freedoms and opportunities of which any other person in my life deserves, I was going to have to limit my choices and abandon selfishness—no matter how badly it hurt. For instance? For the longest time, I refused to put myself in the position of “burdensome,” and so refused to get into long-term relationship with anyone. I am a lover, and I love deeply. And the pain of losing someone that close to me (again) would be too great. I wanted to be useful and feel useful towards my partner and if I wasn’t? Then I would do my best to close my doors.
To invite the most invigorating and inspiring acts towards others I would have to act in my life as I naturally would. I would no longer venture outdoors unless given appropriate reason such as business-related affairs, exercise or education and personal shopping needs.
In spite of my symptoms and overall diminished composure, I refused to believe that there was anything wrong with me. And I was right about that! I was right that nothing was wrong with me. I was made perfect, whole and complete just as anybody else in the world. It was everything I was ignoring, however, the signs, the symptoms, the support networks, etc., that I personally had a challenge latching onto. Even to this day, admitting that I had a problem that needed immediate attention wasn’t what I wanted to be about. Everyone has problems, right? How could my problems be any more important to solve than anyone else’s?…Does this sound familiar? Also termed as a state of denial by some? I wasn’t in denial, but I did need help clearing the future trajectory the way that I SAW myself creating for my future. Anyone else who got involved seemed interested only in putting me back on the tracks of “cultured normalcy.” Where I was NOT like everybody else, and I certainly wasn’t going to be termed as, normal.
To me, the term “expert” should mean not simply that their educations, qualifications, intellect lines up, but ALSO that they have relevant experience. I am that type of individual who demands first-hand experience. Better put? Someone like me, who has actually been through it, or is currently going through it, in order that I can establish a certain amount of space for their credibility-factor that I leave aside such as this woman who not only beat MS by natural methods included in her book, but is also a relevant, educated doctor. THAT is absolutely who I want on my support team.
Well? Certainly in going the distance as far as I could possibly complete while pursuing my dreams to be a working actor in Los Angeles, and without the necessary financial aid or assistance that disability social security could have provided, and which I severely needed due to lack of a permanent source of income, I lost a good amount of career-worthy experiences and understanding. I suffered from endless levels of second-guessing, self-doubt, lack of confidence, and refusal of any long-term relationship commitments.
What I did gain along the way, however, was a life-changer! The blessings that I came across included unique health and wellness strategies, dietary measures, programs for balance and coordination, strength-training regimens that weren’t about building massive BULK, but more about mindfulness, movement, and freedom.
In my experience researching ulterior techniques outside of the Westernized medical community, I was able to learn about holism and Eastern medicine. Through this passage, I was able to acquire an abundance of educational materials containing relevant, holistic information, trainer’s certificates, leadership developments, seminar and lecture trainings along with materials to add onto my formal university degrees. Life continues and opportunities arise, and so I decided to start a business from all of it where I could develop programs and training systems of my own for other individuals and businesses. that would support an individual in realms outside of simply the physical and external perceptual reality.
In my opinion, life is about doing, being and having the greatest amount of positive impact on others and enjoyment throughout life while at the same time being cautious not to get held up on the natural flow of things. Life is about being able to balance through the exposures of both gain and loss that an individual must experience; and while that experience will vary per the individual, I stand in the question of, “How can my life progress as easily and as joyfully as possible?”
Throughout this website I have personally engineered certain landscapes that have enabled me to live as powerfully and wonderfully as possible and then continue to learn and engage and develop new opportunities and valuable forms of llifestyle engagement for others. To sum the site up, I would reflect that it is diven by states of clarity, appreciation, and forgiveness. Mental states like mindset and frequency devices are also important to develop in my opinion and having the right tools to engineer an independence and sense of freedom and well-being are presented in the most diplomatic fashion as possible. Thank you for your leadership and continued progress.
