Women? Stand up for yourselves: it happened like this.. There she was in the middle of the gym earlier today. Lifting all that she could and all by herself in front of one of the largest stage mirrors. On a bench she lifted her reps with a light, Spring-jacket wrapped around her torso and some fashionably settled granny-glasses and monitoring her phone closely.   I couldn’t help but take notice of the Code she was breaking.  I’m not an officer about it, but it can be very problematic for me as a gym-goer as I can get distracted quite easily from my purpose if all things from gym-goers aren’t up to Code. 

     Right then and there my mind took a tangent and something else about the situation suddenly crept forward in my mind.  Yes, it was an assumptive-based judgement, however, in my defense I did keep it to myself and this wasn’t the first time I’ve witnessed this type of behavior.  Here on this occasion at the gym before us all was an incredibly gorgeous younger woman playing the “ogre” for the sake of her over-possessive boyfriend.  How do I know she liked men, you wonder? I based my judgement from the oversized jacket she was wearing. How do I know she didn’t like wearing men’s jackets? I don’t. As stated before this was all observational judgment, and this was where the situation led me into: sharing about it so that women everywhere can spot it and know what to do if they ever find themselves in a similar relationship situation.

    Men love to control. For whatever reason, and I am generalizing a bit, but most men love a good control-session where they can manipulate a person into doing what they want them to.  Women—most of them—tend to be more sensitive and aware of others feelings, compassion and mindfulness.  A good woman knows tenderness really well, in my opinion—where they have seen and been through some -ish, but continue with their head held high and remaining productive.

    Men get mopey. What does “mopey” even mean? It means that men purposefully put themselves into an indiscernible state, or mood—an outsider is unable to tell what is really going on. It’s position—it’s their power-play. Weak-minded men often play this type of act in order to hold power. Men generally seek answers to bigger questions and investigate and explore pathways they’ve never entered into, and it’s exciting for them to venture out into the world with all of their curiosity and might from instilled confidence traction and support from others, but when it doesn’t work out? When something happens that goes well outside of the plan? A stifling may occur. A depression may result. Whenever uncertainty is present a man will get protective.  That protective aspect includes all of his domain—including his lady.

     The sad thing about most men is that when this deterrent causation arises for them? They won’t talk about it. REMEMBER: a man loves control over the situation. If he is outwardly expressing frustration, anger, hostility and aggression typically he is doing this to hold his own—like swinging around a gun in a crowded area people move away in a state of fear and submissiveness.  He is not afraid—he holds the power: he has control. 

    But by keeping his woman under the impression that he is hurt, lost, afraid and tarnished from past childhood traumas (likely), etcetera, he is essentially waving the gun around in a crowded space and manipulating her opinions on how she can assist in the situation.

    Most men won’t ever make it far enough in their personal developmental growth to be interested imn understanding themselves either.  It usually begins to happen around 30-45 where individuation and inner-self reflection are pursued. How do I know that? I don’t, but which is why I wrote, “most men,” as there are exceptions to that rule.

TO DO:

ASK yourself: is this relationship really worth the sacrifices?

Use manipulative tactics in reverse: what does he depend on you for? Find out. Take advantage of an area of position in the relationship. He needs to understand whether it’s worth all of the sacrifice as well. He will come to his senses…eventually…if it is worth it to him.

Ask questions: pursue the “mopey.”

You are free to make your own decisions and choices in this lifetime. There are a lot of good men out there with a healthy level of mutualistic respect. Find them by going to your local library, the grocery store, and even the gym. But know that YOU—the woman—have to speak up and express interest first. Most gym-goers are focused on their goal and it wasn’t ever like this in my day-day, but now…? Go. Take action. Be powerful and fearless.

    Either way? Men need to understand that another individual whether it be a woman or another man, are out of their control.  Besides? The more responsibility for their own decisions a person has in a relationship—the stronger that relationship will be. Respect: it has always been, and it comes in many different forms. By blanketing a woman’s physique in a gym—forcing your woman to wear a jacket while working out? Only provokes the comment: nice coat. Conversations can develop from that. You’re all out of answers now. Go handle your inner issues, men—women too, but men? What happened to your backbone? Thank you for your time and consideration. 

-Cheers,

Dick

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