To Whom It May Concern,

“This is the last letter I’m sending you, I hope you hear it!..” The crack of an egg over your head and let the yolk drip down? and yes, I heard it and thank you.  Unforgettable, quite actually. I will remember this well-pronounced and emphasized line for perhaps all of time. Funny how I can rehearse and study other people’s written lines and lyrics, but yet my own lines and lyrics are still often left in the background and overlooked upon. Why is that? I ask myself, but unsure. Is my neglect because I do not put enough value into them? Or, I don’t place them anywhere to be found? Is it because I can yet perceive how worthwhile they are, and as even belonging to me as a conduit for God? The individual who created them—I am forever placated by my mistrust and the dervish-like, dizzying antics perpetuated by my own mind. I don’t like that idea at all.  Will I make a good-enough parent if I chose to have children of my own? Well? I am not ready to decide I guess. And that might reflect as me being derelict in my duties to provide the world with my fullest self. What is it? and why am I again seemingly hiding? I will remember this and all of this.  I am done trudging along uphill both ways for the sake of others fulfillment. I live to serve and I am done with complementing the masses and working both ends double-time. Obviously it is exhausting being me—in a way—primarily the one which is least-likely observable: the realm of thought.  It is not my choice, but in having a more optimal strategy available to work alongside with? I will decide upon taking that one. 

Notice for a moment that I did not have to get up out of bed this morning. I did not need to head straight for my computer and begin typing my own unique offspring of language.  This universe that I have claimed to be a part of, and have willingly entered into, is completely free and liberated from outside interferences of monarchies, or, patriarchal societal influences. There is no A-I Elephant challenging me to dream, or create words that were not constructed of my own accord and then never forget that I did not write them. Notice for a moment how challenging that makes a classical writer’s job to be.  See? We want more—but to be doing less. The constructs of constricts in time are relentlessly demanding. It is a question of productivity and output rather than quality of input.

In this societal-world paradigm, one is either being pushed, or, is doing the pushing—likewise? One is either pulled, or doing the pulling. Either stance takes work, however, what work in which a person would prefer to engage upon is up to them.  One’s perception might tell right away what their stance is. Something like, “Well, I have to go to work—so that I can pay my bills and settle my agendas and do what I want to do with my life…” and etcetera, and so forth. What happened to acceptance of whatever is so? What happened to the ethic of appreciation for all that currently is? It takes courage and bravery of an individual to really commit to being a bum—to stand up to the tides of life’s oceans and do absolutely nothing—where in certain instances one can begin to learn for themselves how to balance much more like a buoy will in deeper waters, and create a light around them from their own source within, and which shines brighter and consecutively brighter with each moment passing. No longer is there any swimming and exerting, or over exhausting oneself, but a refreshing breath of air and floating! A coasting with the currents, tides and storms! By choice.  Right? Because what is existence if not a brutal massacre to jam-into the train and filet a large enough space at the dinner-table? It is easier to perceive that taking action is precisely what needed to happen in order for these words to have be effectively placed onto a page.  At the very outright? I am seemingly being mucho hypocritical: do one thing, but say another..,some might term that as, “double-speak,” or, “contradictory,” and no one enjoys that.  But either way? Whatever it is called, the words are here on this page, within the confines of this website—and most certainly did it take active, physical work to accomplish that. 

But the very thought of floating with ease amidst every current and wave, is rather comforting and what I want to get back to.—because the beacon-like light focus and intensity, the light shines from my buoy. And then? what of help? What of need? What of missing out? What of the basic essentials like food? Medicine? Water? Reliable transportation? Etc.?  Am I not just being rather idiotically defiant like the grasshopper of the Aesop’s Fable along the ant farm begging for relief? The ant stays committed and focused—works arduously, relentlessly. The ant is hard, poised, brutish-almost, but predictable, reliable and secure.  He has everything he needs, and his yearning for more continues to march along amongst the hive.  I’d hate to say it, but the ant is still utterly defenseless to the gigantic sole of a shoe, or the imprint of an incoming magnifying glass from above. What people can perceive for themselves as being a safe, and reliable form of existence at the microscopic level, will often times miss the brevity of the point of this existence entirely. No man, woman or child was born to work in the way the mainstream society has explained and programmed into its’ youth from a very young age.  I agree that, “Yes!” This is how companies and corporations continue along gaining power and influence—and it does begin at the very basic level of plug-and-chug attempts!

But! If you’ve ever noticed a tribe of ants along their stringed pursuit? There are some laboring worker drones who come back to the hive in the opposite direction! Same line of pursuit—different type of action.  They come back with the results to report to their higher-ups that there was nothing out in that particular direction, and told the next location where they might have greater success.  The ants might be coming back empty-handed and be leading the entire trail out to no-man’s land, and back to the security of the nest for another mission.  When is it ever gotten the sure-thing? There are a multitude of possibilities and outcomes. And so it is with life! All the same: campaign after campaign; tide after tide; sun-up, sun-down—choices, choices choices! And eventually? The realization of all the suffered injustices and valuable oversights—strategic incentivized plans? Are not viewed at as being altogether worthwhile for the sake of the higher good.

If you take a look at the “woe-is-me” side of the story. My life is considered as a congestion for this society. I am a debacle—a hang-up.  I simply stay within my realm; doing my thing at what it is I am best at, having the least amount of impact, but yet performing my actions for the sake of mankind; I keep both feet planted and surrender myself up to God. Every day—simple as that. Now, does that mean my life as a 20-something generation American is any more special than anyone else’s? Nope. Not at all. Couldn’t be.  But my lineage and citizenship of America does re-enforce my concerns and considerations for what truly matters in life versus? In being a part of the conformist cocktail of America—kept in the dark about nearly everything regarding one’s own value and supreme level of worthiness supported by easily-obtainable (relatively speaking) ascension levels of consciousness.

I choose to be a part of the former tribe of individual and agencies, regardless of whatever stuffs up my trunk.  I remember the prefaced line because it reminds me to reflect on the fact that this life is short, and there are so many blessings to become aware of right now.  I want others to begin having the opportunity to enjoy it—free from the insidious corruptions and oppressions that now consumes all members of time-based society: money. Because you can be a white male, drug-dealer just out of the 8th grade middle school class, who’s living in a single-family home, within an up-and-coming suburbanite neighborhood and who’s got 10 million saved up the bank already.  But then? you’ve got this 76 year old single, Latino-male Vietnam War Vet who’s contemplating whether or not he should consider retirement because he’s only got enough money in his account to squeeze out a few more weeks, and barely makes ends meet as it is as a private contractor, especially since he’s been keen to notice the overturn in world reserve currency with the inflation rate hikes taking out his idea of spending any form of extra.  And people want to tell me that the 8th grader is more valuable based on his bank account? Foolish games.  Yet? In spite of countless attempts at forewarnings, the ant-tribe nevertheless continues to march along. 

The valuation system for explaining our lives and livelihood is naturally done through the pleasure-induced benefits of having more: greed;  and again juxtaposed by the alternatively proposed solution—Sit in front of the television and wait for someone else to tell you what freedom is, or, what it means to them.  

Truth? Abundance.  Don’t get confused—keep a clear and level-head about you at all times because this world outside of our bodies is designed to infuriate and mess with one’s mind and henceforth? one’s interpretation of value.  For me? It’s my own interpretation of being a 20-something generation American that has me wrapped up in this bittersweet sense of relaxation and entitlement when it need oughtn’t be the case! where I should be urgently and vigorously charging and surging to seek, destroy and conquer.  This is a life where I have become unsettlingly ostracized by the majority of the general populace who lack any foundational source for the need of a healthy and well-balanced relationship in their lives, but yet continue asking, “where? how? And, why?”—something involving nourishment and growth and positive, healthy support for one another to be as terrific and steadily increasing.  

Loneliness, for me, and I would argue for anyone else experiencing this situation, is definitely a challenge to confront life with—even in spite of my steady faith that the Ultimate Creator is with me and always present—sometimes? I forget.  The urge to be with people and comforted by the sense of another’s touch, warm-embrace and trust, and in belonging as a feeling like a part of something?Is something I will always feel a wanting for regardless of Psalm 23. I simply have difficulty being there anymore in the frame of consciousness, or paradigm that anyone else is.  It genuinely can feel like a waste of opportunity.—the opportunity to think a better thought.  I am also not authoritative or oppressive—I want people to be educated and know their rights. I was not made to struggle and have a sacrificial drive and urgency for nothingness, but that most newly arriving 3rd World immigrants might readily possess and take immediate action toward.  I simply do not possess their perspective nor frame of reference in order to lay down more tracks, and of which I can already recognize are based on superficially consumerist and capitalist ideals. This world needs to change evolutionarily speaking. I believe we, as a human species, can challenge ourselves to do better. My proposed solution? The Creator Driven Mindset, for one, offers much value in the realm of perspective shifting and clarity-based thinking. To value our elders and want to provide for them and their comfort. To understand our value as limitless. Many more to sort through. What are your suggestions?

-Cheers,

Hart

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